Much has got to be expected

I’m doing my psychiatry rotation right now, and I’ve most recently spent some time working in child psych. And every day, without fail, I hear horrific tales of broken and desperate and completely dysfunctional, unacceptable childhoods.

[ That’s the case more often than not – though occasionally we have patients who were raised in supportive, functional families ]

Anyways – the more I see this, the more I find myself (1) thanking God for all that He has given me and (2) asking Him why He did.

I know a few things:

I know He doesn’t love me more that the people who walk in to our clinic. I don’t think for a second that He doles out blessing, or circumstances for that matter, based on how much He loves His children. Nope – we’re definitely all loved equally.

I know that having a mental illness means a lot of hard work in order to get well. Between medical and psychotherapy options available today, it’s a commitment – and regardless of how you go about it, it’s a long and challenging road. And it’s one that impacts many of those who surround you.

I know Luke 12:48, where Jesus straight up says: From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.

And I know that I’ve been given much.
And I feel like – I haven’t taken this responsibility seriously enough in the past.

My path has been made straight. I’ve been given everything (and more) that I needed to succeed.
I’ve wanted for nothing. And that just isn’t the reality of the majority of the world.

So I don’t believe that I’m meant to sort of float through the world wearing nice clothes and buying nice cars. I believe I’ve been given so much in order to do much. I believe that God uses us, because human hands and human feet are His best tools on this Earth. And I believe my job is to surrender fully to whatever plans He has – and to expect that they will be hard and they will require sacrifice, and to not expect that is just plain insanity.

If not us who have been given everything – then whom? Those who are born in to poverty? Those who are struck with chronic illness? Those who are struggling to pay their bills?

Get me not wrong – every single person has a significant role to fill in God’s great plans; but if we find ourselves expecting things of others with less fortunate circumstances, then we best be willing to step up and drop everything for anything that God calls us to.

MUCH IS REQUIRED.

Worth the effort.

My drive home every evening takes me around a bay – and on a clear, sunny day it’s breathtaking.

Today was one such day. The sky was littered with fluffy white clouds and the sun was present in their midst. As I ogled at their existence, I noticed the effect of the sun on the surrounding clouds.

And it was a pretty ground breaking observation…

WHAT I NOTICED
…was that the closer the clouds were to the sun, the more brilliant they appeared, while those that were found at a distance, took on a darker, less white, more grey appearance.

OUTSTANDING!!!

… or not

So I realize that’s fairly obvious. BUT it made me think about the other Son we know.
And how… the closer we are to Him, the brighter we shine.
Which made me think – that making a sincere effort to go pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament is important.

Hence – worth the effort.

We are ten.

Abraham’s chat with God in Genesis 18 is phenomenal.

As God talks of His plans to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham questions Him of what He will do if he finds 50, 40, 30 and eventually only 10 who are righteous. God agrees that if there are 10 who are righteous, He will not destroy the cities. Sodom and Gomorrah were believed to have been populated with about 1200 people at the time of this discussion, making 10 righteous inhabitants less than 1% of the population.

I think that’s a pretty bold statement about how valuable life is to God.

His promise declares that though 1190 people might loathe Him in all they say and do; though they abandon His laws and reject His love, He will spare their lives for the sake of less than 1% of the population; for just 10 people.

Only 10.

Could this still be true of our lives today? Of our city? Province? Of our country?

As our God endures the rejection of abortion, as He is repeatedly thrown out of public institutions and as His people disagree and seek division instead of unity – does He spare us because of a minority of righteous peoples?

We are 10.
We may be small in numbers. But I wonder if it’s enough.

Though our country is overwhelmingly turning away from our God, will He continue to spare us if we remain faithful? Can our commitment to God’s plans for our own lives save our country?

In his abundant grace, He’s never asked for more than we are able to give.

So choose to be one of 10. Choose to give everything for the sake of the rest.

Live sacrificially. Simply. Faithfully.

We are 10.
And I think that’s enough.

The path of least resistance

Soooo….
You meet this lady. As you begin chatting with her, you discover that when she was a child, she went to a public school. When she got to grade 8, she had a teacher she never really got along with. One day the teacher made a remark that really rubbed this girl the wrong way. In fact, she was so upset by this remark that she decided never to return to school. She was a bright girl though, and did enjoy learning – so she decided that she would educate herself for the rest of her life. It’s 5 years later, and she’s completed her high school equivalent degree through self study. Sure, it took a year longer and a lot more effort – but she did it! And she did well. She has similar plans for her post-secondary education as she intends to pursue a certification she can earn outside the classroom.

Alsoooo…
Your dad doesn’t like the doctor. He went to a doctor when he was in the 12th grade and was advised incorrectly. His doctor messed up and it cost him a year of disability. He promised himself he would never return. He resolved to use the internet for the rest of his life to take care of his health because the healthcare system he had previously been involved in sure didn’t work!

--

We are fallible little human beings. We screw up. We say the wrong things and we act unkindly from time to time. We misunderstand the people we meet and so we fail to meet their needs. It happens – and I suspect it always will.
Occasionally, these dysfunctional interactions are pretty bad. And they manage to skew our impression of an entire group of people, institution or organization based on a single conversation.

But that doesn’t make our skewed impressions right.

If I ran in to lady A, I might try and convince her to give the university system a try. Yes, she was wronged and that shouldn’t have happened. But it isn’t a fair reflection on the education system as a whole. That being said, fair impressions aren’t why I would encourage her to try again. I generally believe that the established post-secondary education system will provide her the easiest route to achieving her educational goals. Sure, she may succeed otherwise, but it would seemingly be a lot of needless time and effort on her part, given that a system is already in place that has repeatedly shown itself to work.

Similarly, I would share these concerns with my dad. While he might successfully bumble his way through an abundance of internet sites and somehow manage to take care of himself and any illness that befalls him – it just doesn’t seem worth the effort, when there’s already a system in place that works.

I think the same is true of the Church. There’s this thought that seems increasingly prevalent these days suggesting that the Church is an unnecessary entity. That eternal happiness can be found on our own and the Church just gets in the way of that. People are choosing to find their own way to Heaven, and see no place for the Church that journey. Whether it’s the result of a disappointing encounter with a member of the Church or an enlightenment of sorts they’ve reached independently – I don’t think it’s the answer.

Since Jesus left this Earth, His people have been banded together to form the Church He established. She has undergone trials of her own and her people haven’t always been faithful, but as an institution – she has successfully led her faithful followers to their eternal place of rest. Those who follow her precepts earnestly find the peace and happiness their hearts desire. She is well established and her instruction is true.

So while there are some who never step foot inside a church who we’ll meet in heaven, I’m opting for the path that is well trodden. Though many of life’s circumstances reward those who make their own way – the consequence here is too great for me to stumble along a path of no guarantees. 2000 years of success sounds good to me!

Marriage.. why for.

Dating, love, marriage. Ah.

I’m a super indecisive person. About almost everything.

Making decisions isn’t really my thing – I don’t find myself often with preferences for one thing over another. It makes life easy for me, though I suspect frustrating for some of those around me. So I’m working on it…

Anyways.

I think this ends up as a pretty big blessing, for it’s with ease that I pray “Lord have your way” – relieved of the responsibility of making many a decision.

I obviously don’t mean to advocate for sitting around doing nothing until lightening strikes. Instead I set out in a direction that, to the best of my discernment, is God’s will. But I don’t stop asking for His will to be done, acknowledging that His prompting at any time could change the path I’ve set before me.

Just as that’s been my prayer for school, careers, ministry and friendship – so too has it been the prayer of my vocation. Marriage or single life, religious life or not, I desire happiness and holiness – and I’m convinced that they are found in following God’s specific plan for my life.

Anyways, recently someone asked me why I wanted to get married. And I realized, with surprise, I didn’t have a quick answer.

But eventually I did.

[Ctrl C + Ctrl V]

I want to get married because I want to go to Heaven. And I believe it's God's will for me to get married.

Sometime last year, I wondered what kind of vocation God had for me, be it religious or marriage or single life - and then one Sunday in Mass, when one of the readings was Ephesians 5:22 onwards, I felt a keen awareness that I would be married. There have been a couple times in my life when God has assured me that something is true, and this was one of those times. It's not really a romantic answer.

At the end of the day, my hope is to go to heaven. And sometimes I think that appears to take meaning away from things that happen on the Earth... as though I'm "using" the Sacrament of marriage to obtain a greater good. Perhaps I am. I guess that's sort of how it is with all the Sacraments.. they contain beauty and abundance in and of themselves.. but their sort of overarching goal is to get us to Heaven. I don't think the Sacrament of marriage is too different from that. I think it's an opportunity to become Holy... and to learn to love like Jesus loves. I think it also holds a promise of joy and companionship... but you're right... that can't be enough. Because if the day after I get married - my spouse gets in a disabling car accident or suffers a major stroke - my purpose and intention for marriage can't suddenly be wiped away. And if all I hoped for or desired was babies and good conversation, then my hopes would be crushed. But if I aspire for Holiness, then come hell or high water, nothing external can strip my vocation of its purpose.

So, yes – if Jesus says my path of least resistance to Heaven is through marriage, then I want to get married!

The physical presence…

... of a human being compares to little.

And when they’re not close, I feel their absence.

I don’t really understand why… given that little of my close relationships are based on physical touch.
Yet, when those I love are far from me, I genuinely miss them.

I find this hard to explain since technology now makes almost anything possible
I can see them
I can hear them
I can talk to them
… but it’s just not quite the same.

And when they return, we share an embrace, sure, but it’s their ongoing physical presence that brings me comfort… joy… delight.

Yesterday was one such day when I found myself wishing I was in the company of a certain someone.
Incidentally, that very morning in prayer, I had asked the Lord for a greater understanding of the Eucharist.

And so it was that on this Sunday, when we celebrate the feast of Corpus Christi – a pretty clear parallel began to sketch itself out.

It remains a thought without full understanding – but I think it’s right

Though I can talk to and even see those distant from me in real time, it doesn’t compare to the relationship we share when we’re together. And I think it’s the same with Jesus. I can seek Him in prayer in the quiet of my room, and it’s just as legitimate a way of knowing him as a phone call is with a friend. Our interaction is real.

But I think He offers more – I don’t think our experience of Jesus on this Earth is meant to be limited to a phone call. He offers us abundance… through prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, and through receiving Him in the Eucharist – we enjoy a physical, tangible relationship with our Saviour.

And the value of this is clear.

Just as we find greater satisfaction in our earthly relationships when they become tangible, so too is our relationship with Jesus enhanced by our physical experience of Him.

Happy feast of Corpus Christi!

Exothermy...

In chemistry, I think there are two kinds of chemical reactions. There are ones that REQUIRE energy to proceed and there are ones that RELEASE energy at their completion. The former are called endothermic, and the latter exothermic.

I think that’s how it works.

And I think exothermic reactions are the more favourable ones, whereby, when two molecules meet – they require nothing else to proceed and will spontaneously react, releasing energy. (contrasted with the less favourable endothermic collision, that will not proceed unless heat/energy is supplied)

Chemistry.

I often find it a bit hard to explain what happens to and in me when I receive the Eucharist. I don’t find it particularly easy to articulate why receiving Jesus is different than just knowing Him in prayer.

But this is my new thought.

As a baptized, confirmed, practicing Catholic, the Holy Spirit dwells within me. And then when I receive Jesus in the Eucharist – well, there’s no doubt that their meeting is a favourable interaction. And through their interaction, which I think is best identified as love, instead of releasing heat, they release grace. And that grace transforms me, strengthens me, and makes me new.

The Trinity.